DB Prelude: Neo vs Po

_____________________________________________________________

Height: 6'0"

Weight: 185 lbs

Age: 28 or 37 Years Old

Hair: Black

Eyes: Black

AKA: Thomas A. Anderson, Mr. Anderson, The One

Origin: "The Matrix" - 1999
 

FEATS:
- Even before he awoke from the Matrix, his hacking skills made him a sought-after programmer for contraband programs
- Upon awaking from The Matrix, Neo spent ten straight hours learning various forms of martial arts through downloading it directly into his brain.
- He along with another hacker Trinity, assaulted a heavily armed military building, with Agents inside, to rescue Morpheus
- Defeated an Agent when everyone else who ever tried died or fled (done before he even became The One)
- Was killed by an Agent's hand, only to be resurrected as The One and opening his eyes to the possibilities of manipulating The Matrix, spending the next six months awakening humans from the Matrix
- Single-handedly fought off 50+ Agent Smiths (though the official number is still being debated)
- Single-handedly fought against six vampires (exiled programs from an older version of the Matrix) inside a Chateau, with only one scratch to show for it
- Rescued Morpheus and the Keymaker from a vehicle collision and explosion
- While in the real world, he was blinded by a covert Agent Smith but still managed to defeat him
- With assistance from Trinity, flew into 01, the Capital of the Machines when no other human was ever allowed to set foot in 01 before
- Made a deal with the Machine leader to destroy Agent Smith in exchange for a ceasefire between the machines and humanity, succeeding at the cost of his life
- In Path of Neo, defeated the giant MegaSmith
- Survived the mind-f*$%ingly complex plot of, and comprehended the equally complex philsophy inspiring, the Matrix Trilogy

Theme:




Z: "The literal 'One' and only, Neo-"

Lucas Zaboot: "F***********CCCCCCCKKKKKKK! This asshole again?!"

Johnny Zealous: "Yes, we're representing for Neo again, so try to be the least bit civilized this time around-"

Lucas Zaboot: "NO! F*CK THAT!" (pushes back his seat and gets up) "I REFUSE TO REPRESENT THIS WOODEN TABLE OF A DUMBASS FOR A FIGHT AGAINST A FATASS PANDA BEAR!! F*CK THIS BULLSH*T!"

(storms out of the room, leaving behind an awkward silence)

Johnny Zealous: "...huh....I guess we're just doing this ourselves, gang."

Z: "It would appear so."

Nineball: "...Not the biggest loss. At least this place won't smell like cheap liquor the whole prelude."

Johnny Zealous: "How right you are! As you were saying, Mr. Z?"

Z: "Somewhere in the future, machines became self-aware, and after feuding constantly with mankind for respect and acceptance, war broke out. This forced mankind to go underground and the sun to never shine on Earth's surface ever again."

Nineball: "In other words, modern-day Detroit!!"

Z: "Or Florida."

Johnny Zealous: "Discovering that humans generated bio-electric energy, the machines grew humans and plugged them them to generate energy to keep them running and, in order to ensure none of them would break free of this fate, designed an advanced computer-simulated dream world called The Matrix to keep humans dumb to their true purpose."

Z: "Yep, definitely Florida."

Nineball: "But not all humans accepted this and the ones who broke free, fled underground to the sewers and went on special missions to go inside The Matrix to share information and free others from their computer prison."

Z: "One program called The Oracle foretold of a prophesy, a man would come and lead the surviving humans to victory and end the war with the machines. He was The One and locating him became the life goal of Captain Morpheus of The Nebuchadnezzar."

Johnny Zealous: "And find him he did. By day, he was Thomas Anderson, a boring computer programmer working for some software company, but by night, he was Neo, computer hacker for anyone willing to pay the right price. Many nights, Neo searched for the answer that constantly plagued him, 'What is the Matrix?'"

Z: "Eventually, it would be an action movie from which scenes were ripped from other movies more often even than Magus steals my food, but that's a story for another day. As luck would have it, Neo met Morpheus and was convinced to leave the comfort of the dream-world and enter reality. Upon arriving, Neo began training to defend himself from the dangers that resided within The Matrix, namely programs called Agents to keep order inside the system and eliminate any who would dare threaten it."

Nineball: "Through a long effort, Neo realized his true potential and the countless options of how to exploit the system and use it to his whim... aaand then he spent two movies wandering around not sure what he's supposed to do."

Z: "Because who says a hero actually has to KNOW he has to help people?"

Attributes

  
Strength
- Strong enough to throw average-size human beings across rooms and rip poles out of concrete
- Capable to sending people flying through the air with physical strikes
- Possesses multi-city block feats
 
Speed/Agility
- Fast enough to dodge bullets
- Flew at over three times the speed of sound
- Can perform flips and superhuman jumps
- Exceedingly flexible, as well
Durability/Endurance
- Can withstand numerous bullets and hits from super-humanly strong foes
- Near-invulnerable
- Can block a sword swing from a superhuman foe with the palm of his hand
- Fought 50+ Agents without tiring
Intellect/Skills
- Decently clever
- Is adept in using the environment to his advantage
 
Heightened Awareness
- Sees the world of the Matrix in it's code form to detect anomalies and exploit them if he can
- Was blinded by Bane and yet still could sense the presence of machines or other programs like Smith


Z: "Neo has a wide assortment of superpowers he can use while his mind is plugged into The Matrix."

Johnny Zealous: "He can take on endless waves of Agent Smiths without getting fatigued, his reflexes are fast enough to dodge bullets, an impressive feat considering your average firearm's bullet travels at 768 miles per hour at least, and he's strong enough to punch Agents into concrete, strong enough to rip objects out of concrete and pick up two full-grown men, which is calculated to range between 180-225 lbs depending on muscle mass and then slam them into the ground or smack other enemies with them."

Z: "Neo's super-human abilities go even farther than that. He can literally push himself off the ground and fly (or flip) through the air, going at speeds fast enough to break the sound barrier, anything behind Neo follows with him while going at that incredible speed, be it broken glass or cars."

Johnny Zealous: "For calculative measure, we take the scene of Neo flying from his spot from the mountains, 500 miles away from Morpheus engaged in a freeway chase but it took Neo 13 minutes for him to reach Morpheus and rescue him. So, if you do the math..."

[right here if you really want to know]

13 minutes / 60 = 0.2167 hours 
The speed of sound is ~761mph
3.031 times the speed of sound.
Source: www.reddit.com/r/AskScienceFic… ]
Nineball: "He...he went three times the speed of sound??"

Johnny Zealous: "Yes, but Neo only did this to hurry, otherwise, he tends to fly casually or go the standard 761 miles per hour."

Z: "Actually, that's not even his best speed feat. Remember the time he outflew an explosion for several seconds, while navigating the twists and turns of a building, when rushing to save Trinity? The blast wave of an explosion, at least if bomb squad veterans/the official Wikipedia page on the topic/a plethora of other sources I've researched are any amount of credible, then the initial blast wave of an explosion can travel anywhere from 1800-8000 meters per second. Since I can do math too, by taking the average of those values and converting this value into something more valuable to us, we get..."

3900 meters/second * 3.281 = 17295.28 feet/second
17295.28 feet/second / 5280 = 2.423348 miles/second
2.423348 miles/second * 3600 = ~8724.055 miles/hour

Mach ~11.44

Johnny Zealous: "That's nearly twice as fast the North American X-15, a jet which, may I remind you, still holds the record for being the fastest aircraft ever built by human hands."

Lucas Zaboot: (still outside in the hall) _{"AND YET HE'S SO SLOW IN THE BRAIN!!!"}

Z: "Oh, and when the explosion did eventually catch up with him? He was completely unfazed. That and it also took out a section of a skyscraper, so... yeah, to hell with physics."

Nineball: "He can also see the world of the Matrix in code form, which helps in being able to see through walls regardless of their material and recognize irregularities in people, like where bullets have been lodged."

Z: "Of course, Kung Fu Jesus wouldn't be Kung Fu Jesus without Kung Fu, now, would he? Well, he's got that, and more..."

Martial Arts Styles

- Master of presumably every martial art conceived as he spent ten hours having it all downloaded into his brain. Although the majority of Neo's combat skills are derived from Wushu, martial arts performed for exhibition rather than actual self-defense, noted examples from the movies include:

+Kempo 
- Based entirely on self-defense through countering your adversary's attacks and ending the fight as quickly as it started. Some schools teach how to disarm and defend against weaponry
 
 +Karate
- Inspired by the White Crane technique from Shaolin monks, this fighting style focuses on hard to soft striking attacks on your enemy
 
 +Jujitsu
- Manipulates your opponent's force against them. Best used in defeating armed opponents in close-combat.
 
+Eskrima
- Spanish for the term "fencing," this combat style involves the precise use of weapons like sticks, knives and even the use of improvised weapons (like metal poles)
 
+Drunken Boxing
- Translated from the name "Zui Quan," the fighting style earned it's name for the way combat resembles that of a drunkard through fluidity and the appearance of lacking balance, making it difficult for opponents to predict your next move. It's the most difficult style to learn and dangerous style to practice in real life. Don't try it kids.
 
+Taekwondo
- A korean combat style that places emphasis on lightning-fast kicking attacks but keeping yourself in control and balanced at all times. North Korean Special Operation Forces currently train their troops with this combat style, along with Hapkido.
 
+And yes, he knows Kung Fu
- Kung Fu itself is meant to act as a insightful look into the culture that created it. But in the world of sports, it's better known as Wushu and it's most recognizable practitioners include teachers Wong Fei Hung, Huo Yuanjia, Yip Man, and film actors Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li and Donnie Yen
 



Johnny Zealous: "Although there are-"

Z: "HOLD up."

Johnny Zealous: "Yes?"

Z: "...that one clip... The one of Bruce Lee actually getting the upper hand against... Chuck Norris."

"You know, Chuck Norris."

"I had thought they had sealed that away from this world during the Silence of 2008... How'd you get a hold of a copy?"

Nineball: "...I'll go tell Lucas to keep watch."
(gets up from her chair and leans out the door to the hallway)
"HEY, GRUMPY ALCOHOLIC DUDE!! If a bearded old guy with a cowboy hat and a black vest walks in, SHANK HIM WITH YOUR BOX CUTTER THING!! Okay?!?"

Lucas Zaboot: _{"SUCK MY DICK!"}

Nineball: (returns to her seat) "He's on it."

Johnny Zealous: "Well, moving on then. There are multiple forms of self-defense and combat available in the world, the Matrix movies actively, and have openly admitted, to mainly focusing on Wushu."

Nineball: "Wushu is not exactly a martial art style but more like a martial sport to demonstrate skill and agility for exhibition purposes."

Z: "A movie series that heavily relies on showing off people doing insane fighting skills? If I could, I'd act anymore surprised about it."

Johnny Zealous: "But we've decided, for fairness, to list off the combat styles the movies officially name."

Nineball: "You've got Karate, a fighting style that focuses on using controlled, yet direct strikes against your enemies and using your arms and feet for blocking the striking, like the water crane that inspired the technique."

Z: "There's also Taekwondo, which is not a Chinese martial art, but a Korean fighting style that focuses on speedy kicks without losing your sense of balance as well as directing your enemy's kicks back towards them. As mentioned above, this combat style is not only trained to young children for self-defense, but also used by the North Korean Special Operation Forces to train their soldiers for hand-to-hand combat."

Johnny Zealous: "Now Kempo is often mistaken for Karate, however, unlike Karate, this Japanese martial art is not taught to it's students to encourage one to fight, but strictly for self-defense through striking the opponent until they go down. Because of the ease of teaching this technique, this combat style found it's way to Hawaii before finding it's way to the US."

Nineball: "Eskrima, or Arnis and Kali, is a martial art that originated in the Philippines to teach students to fight with weapons as well as disarming opponents to use their weapons against them, although schools in recent years has shifted it's focus to not using sharp dangerous weapons to train with. Hmm...maybe I should get Angela to teach me some."

Z: "Jujitsu, also a Japanese martial art, focuses on grappling your opponent to force them into yielding. This style mainly focuses on locking joints in your body, grappling holds and even throwing your enemy to the floor. Today, this style lives on, well...sort of... through the modern variation of wrestling at high schools and Olympic sports."

Johnny Zealous: "Then there's the combat style that helped make Jackie Chan a star; Zui Quan, better known as 'Drunken Kung Fu.' I should mention in the clip below, the actor fighting Jackie Chan is Ken Lo, Jackie Chan's bodyguard who stepped in when another actor was injured, he was major practitioner of Taekwondo, as you can see below."





Nineball: "Wow... I need to learn from these guys!"

Johnny Zealous: "I...wouldn't advise that..."

Z: "Drunken boxing is not a martial art that's encouraged in the modern day because of the severe risks involved in trying to learn it as this technique requires a strong amount of control while giving the illusion you lack balance in order to fool your enemies into a false sense of assurance. As it stands, it's only used for exhibition purposes nowadays."

Nineball: "But this is a Death Battle, exhibition is what we're all about."

Z: "Granted but that's beside the point. What isn't, though..."

Johnny Zealous: "...is the combat style that became a joke on the internet whenever Keanu Reeves is involved. Observe."




Z: "Hehehehehe, that'll never get old."

Nineball: "Pfft-"

Z: "Keanu Reeves, ladies and gentlemen."

Weapons

  

Yugoslavic Model 61 Skorpion

M16 Assault Rifle

Sai

Metal Pole

Z: "Even though Neo stopped using firearms in the movie sequels when he became hardcore enough to stop bullets, we're still gonna throw some firepower into his arsenal, to make things a bit more interesting. Because why not?"

Johnny Zealous: "Although Neo can use any firearm he finds, we're giving him a few 20th Century weapons to bring into battle. Such as twin Beretta pistols, twin Skorpion uzis, and an M16 Assault Rifle he used in the first film to rescue Morpheus."

Z: "But for getting up close and personal, Neo has Japanese sai in his hands for devastating stabs or for blocking other weapons that get too close for comfort."

Nineball: "And then, just because Neo feels naked without one, he can tear out a pole if he finds one lying around in the ground."

Lucas Zaboot: (still in the hallway) _{"HOW ABOUT PULLING IT OUT HIS ASS?!"}

Johnny Zealous: (calling out the hallway) "If you're going to give such "constructive criticism," why don't you just join us in here instead of screaming in the hallway like a brat?"

Lucas Zaboot: _{"SCREW YOU!"}

Z: "Huh...He can even hear us from all the way down the hallway. Oh, and he also had a sword at one point, so there's that."

Johnny Zealous: "And yet he never listens when I ask him to pick up all his beer bottles..."

Powers

  

Healing
- Can not only heal himself but also heal others if he chooses
Telekinesis
- Manipulate objects in the Matrix through willpower alone
- Can generate protective shielding
-- Can stop bullets and other projectiles in mid-air by raising his hand
- Could obliterate hundreds, if not thousands or of machine drones at once even in the human world/Earth where his powers were weaker than in the Matrix
Flight
- Fast enough to break the Sound Barrier
Can Rewrite Matrix Coding at his own pleasure 
- Though it has limits
Master of any kind of weapon at his disposal 
- Conventional weapons such as firearms and swords
- Can use unconventional tools for devastating effect, such as a pole
Internal Combustion
- Allows for Neo to enter a program's body and destroy them from the inside (only done once, may only work on programs created by the Matrix and not real people plugged into the system, so its not sure that he can utilize it against other beings)
Computer Hacker experience allows him to detect potential weak spots in a program and take advantage of it



Z: "As if everything up until now wasn't enough, Neo has a wide assortment of superpowers he can use while inside The Matrix."

Nineball: "In keeping with his Jesus Image, Neo has the power to heal himself as well as others around him if he chooses to." 

Z: "Neo is also telekinetic, as he can grab objects from the room, like weapons. He can utilize this power to project protective shielding, as well, stopping volleys of bullets, knives, and more by just casually raising his hand!!"

Nineball: "Just like Johnny here trying to get a date."

Johnny Zealous: "Yes, just like- wait what-?"

Z: "And as mentioned previously, he is capable of flight. What's more, if he gets his hands on a weapon? Not only does he know how to use it, it performs, in his hands, inexplicably better than it ever could in real life. That metal pole from earlier? In his hands, it can survive being swung against inhumanly durable foes with ease. So, not only is this guy Kung Fu Jesus, he's also Lancelot, apparently."





Z: "Not that Lance-"

Johnny Zealous: "DAMN IT LUCAS! GET AWAY FROM THE EDITING BAY!!"

Lucas Zaboot: (calling out from the editing bay) _{"MAKE ME!!"}

Johnny Zealous: "That's it!" (gets out of his chair and goes after him)

Nineball: "...I thought that was funny..."

Z: "Ahem* anyways, thanks to Neo's past experience in hacking computer software and his rebirth as The One, Neo can see the entire Matrix World in code, recognize irregularities and exploit them by re-writing them, though this is limited as he cannot change something into something else."

Nineball: "Meaning he can't change Po into a teddy bear if he wanted to, even inside a computer, you can't change matter."

Z: "And his most confusing power, internal combustion...which he only did once and never did again..."

Nineball: "Well, I can only assume Neo does this sparingly and it can only work on programs designed specifically by The Matrix. Beings that are real organic beings like humans must be another story and Neo can't exactly use this power on them."

Z: "...still giving it to him."

Nineball: "Wait, we are?"

Z: "It'd be rather arbitrary and unfair of us to deny someone a power they have expressedly demonstrated, would it not? Besides, it's not like he's invincible..."

Weaknesses

  


- Is only human; can bleed, sustain injuries and feel pain that his mind reflects onto his physical body
- Neo is still bound by the capacity of the system and can't change everything, so he isn't omnipotent
- His body in the outside world is incredibly vulnerable to attack
- Is an average joe when not connected to the Matrix


Z: "...yeah, don't think for a minute that Neo's abilities make him a god: he's far from it. "

Nineball: "A balanced main character! Well almost....sorta...not really..." 

Z: Perhaps you are looking for the phrase, 'Gary Stu?' Heh, I kid. While Neo can break the laws of gravity and can cheat the system to let him do nearly impossible things, Neo cannot re-write code to make it something it is not: he can only alter what already exists."

Nineball: "As I said before, Neo can't grab a piece of wood and turn it into a gun or turn Po into a harmless teddy bear, his abilities are strictly limited to what the program originally designed it to be in the first place."

Z: "And while he has a wide array of impressive abilities, these abilities are only present while Neo is connected to The Matrix. While inside, any damage Neo receives, his mind makes the pain real to Neo and it, in turn, damages Neo's body. If he gets punched in the face in The Matrix, Neo will feel it when he pulls out. If Neo is killed while inside, his mind will shut down and he'll die in the real world."

Nineball: "Subsequently, Neo's body cannot defend itself while his mind journeys around inside the Matrix program, if the plug and computer he's connected to are either removed or destroyed while his mind is still in there, he'll die. But even if Neo could defend himself in the real world, his abilities wouldn't be as impressive as they are inside The Matrix since Neo's abilities do not come with him in the real world." 

Z: "What's more, while Neo has outstanding stamina, enough hard blows will cause him to slow down and take a hefty toll on his body, as Agent Smith did in their final battle where Neo could barely stand up."

Nineball: "But despite these flaws, there's a reason Neo is looked up to for the protection of humanity, while he may not be a great strategist or even a great Jesus, he's as much of a badass to prove that all you need is your fists and nothing else will stand in your way."



Neo: "I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you." 

_____________________________________________________________

Po

Height: 6’2’’

Weight: 260 lbs.

Fur: Black and White

Eyes: Green

Age: Unknown (rather young, possibly mid-20s)

AKA: Master Po Ping, The Dragon Warrior, THE Big Fat Panda, Xiao Po Ping (means "little precious peace")

Origin: Kung Fu Panda

- Created his own combat style, Panda Style

- Saved China twice against martial artists with great experience, techniques and weaponry

- Considered the most powerful Kung Fu Master under training at the Jade Palace having bested Shifu

- Copied and learned Kung Fu techniques by seeing them once or reading about them for a bit 

- Defeated Tai Lung and Fenghuang in direct combat, the former having took out the Furious Five while the other possessing a new set of weaponry

- Survived being hit by a cannon after being injured with only a pot as a shield

- Acquired inner peace and created the ability to redirect firework cannons from redirecting water drops
- Defeated Bad Po after he was separated from him by the Mirror of Yin and Yang, and used said mirror to reabsorb him back into himself
- Learned THREE of the twelve impossible moves
- With Prawn Samurai Yijiro, defeated the clam ronin Kira Kozu and the Kozumoto Clam Clan
- Defeated the demon hordes that threatened the entire world
- Destroyed the demon king Ke Pa
-- Immediately after being killed by him, being brought back to life, and sealing away all of the demons of the world minus said Ke Pa, what's more
- Voiced by Jack Black

Theme:

Attributes

 

Strength
- Could go toe to toe with Tai Lung, someone who could easily break concrete and destroy a building in one blow
- Was able to push back a flaming cannon ball with his Redirection technique... when he did so, it destroyed an entire fleet of ships
- Struck Tai Lung so hard that he flew above the cloud layer in ~2 seconds
-- The cloud layer is typically 2-4 km high, meaning this strike possessed 50-200 megajoules of force...
-- ...he's only gotten stronger since then
Speed/Agility
- Fast enough to keep up with Master Shifu and Shen in combat and when running, who's capable of easily blitzing many opponents in the series
- Surprisingly acrobatic and light on his feet
- Can dodge repeated cannon fire
- Comparable to Tigress, who can deflect and snatch numerous arrows out of the air without even looking
- Can keep up with Tai Lung, who dodged repeated ballista bolts from multiple times, while chained down, and can kick them at targets with precision... and so hard that they embed themselves into stone
Durability/Endurance
- Fell from great heights without injury, evident in the falling tower and fireworks incident
- Took attacks from Tai Lung, someone who can easily break concrete
-- One of such attacks punched a crater into the earth that threw dust across the Village
- When injured, took a direct hit from a cannon ball with only a small shield and survived with no lasting injuries
- Almost cartoon-like toughness
Intelligence/Skills
- Could easily copy advance Kung Fu techniques through studying them for a short time
- Could create new fighting styles on the fly
- Could adapt new powers into something more 
- Doesn't get easily distracted
Body Fat and Thickness
- Can redirect an opponent's physical attacks with his own strength
- Immune to chi/nerve attacks from Tai Lung


Z: "Of course, Po here lives in a world where possessing mastery of Kung Fu automatically grants you superhuman attributes."

Nineball: "He could go toe to toe with Tai Lung, someone who could easily break concrete and send a building crumbling in one blow! Not to mention he struck said warrior so hard that he was knocked all the way above the cloud layer in 2 seconds!"

Johnny Zealous: "Supposedly he should be around superhuman level just by that since that would mean he possess 50 - 200 megajoules of force, which, when calculated to pound-force/foot and to Psi, ins up to over 1 million psi in force, that's the amount of force needed to cut diamonds. I would say that's miraculous, but then again, Po demonstrated his ability to redirect flaming cannonballs with his Redirection technique."

Lucas Zaboot: "Makes me wonder if shooting him would even do anything if he can redirect the bullet."

Z: "He's no pushover in speed either. He was able to keep up with Master Shifu and Shen in combat and while running, both being capable of blitzing many opponents in the series."

Nineball: "He could dodge repeated cannon fire while standing on a piece of debris in the middle of the ocean. And he's also be pretty even with Tai Lung and Tigress in terms of speed."

Johnny Zealous: "The former, by the way, can dodge repeated ballista bolts multiple times while chained down while the latter could deflect and snatch numerous arrows out of the air without even looking and that's impressive considering your average crossbow can fire at 350 feet per second the farther back you pull on it."

Z: "And we mustn't neglect Po's inhuman durability. He constantly gets beat up in all sorts of ways, and never is he truly injured in any lasting way. The only person to ever keep him down for good was Ke Pa... and even that was temporary. He's like Straw Hat Luffy in Dreamworks bear-form!!"

Nineball: *writing down* "Persuade David to... write Po vs... Luffy."

Z: "Don't do that. Please? Don't."

Johnny Zealous: "But it is true. Po has fallen from great heights without injury, was knocked from the sky and into the ground with enough force to create a small crater in his battle with Tai Lung and was even survived a direct hit from a cannon ball, an impressive feat considering the amount of force from a cannon ball would be the equivalent of a minivan ramming into you on the freeway."

Z: "Concentrated into a smaller surface area, to boot."

Nineball: He was also almost knocked out by a direct hit from a cannon ball. The only thing he used to block it was this thing! *pulls out a large metal bowl* 

Lucas Zaboot: "YOUR VIRGINITY? KNEW IT!"

Nineball: *neck cracks and eyes turn ominous*

Z: Nineball. No. Don't do it! Think of my teachings? Is this what a main character would do!?

Johnny Zealous: "Hey, who wants some ice cream?" (immediately reveals a Ben & Jerry's ice cream container with a spoon)

Nineball: *turns normal* "Cookies and cream please!"

Z: "I'd like some too please, if there's any to spare."

Johnny Zealous: "Sorry, Mr Z, I only have the one." (gives the ice cream to Nineball)

Magus: (teleports into the hallway) "I'll fix that!!"

Lucas Zaboot: "THE F*#? DID YOU COME FROM?!?"

Z: "That...happens, look, all joking aside, the point is, Po's pretty damn durable."

Johnny Zealous: "Quite so. Po is powerful physically but he's also surprisingly intelligent. He's able to easily copy advance Kung Fu techniques in a short time from watching others perform them and can also create new fighting styles on the fly and adapt new powers into something more."

Nineball: "That is the way of a main character. To learn and enhance abilities! To have character developing moments!! ...and stuff."

Fighting Skills

  

Special Moves

Feet of Fury
- Rapid kicks delivered at blinding speeds

 
Wings of Light
- Grants Po flight

 
Thundering Wind Hammer
- Creates a burst of emerald green chi
- Deals concussive force and could knock away giant enemies
- Po is also capable of deflecting such force
Mongolian Fireball
- Creates a massive fireball that sucks in items like a black hole incinerating them in the process
- Powerful gravitational effect
- Copied off of Master Fenghuang, someone more powerful than Shifu
- Only drawback is that it's slow
Inner Peace/Raindrop Redirect Technique
- Was originally a way of acquiring inner peace
- Po evolved this ability to be capable of redirecting multiple cannon balls

 
Wuxi Finger Hold
- Actually created by Po
- Causes the opponent to explode into gold dust by disrupting the opponent's chi flow, instantly killing the opponent
- Slew Tai Lung with this attack
- The effect could be felt throughout the city and on the topside of a nearby mountain

 
Hero's Chi
- Passed on to him by Oogway
- Awakened when he was resurrected by a peach tree sapling
- Enables him to fire destructive blasts of heroic chi from his body
- Used it to seal away a horde of demons, and to one-shot the Demon King Ke Pa
-- Who destroyed all of Jade Palace, blew apart the top of the mountain it stood on, and nearly killed the Furious Five nearby... all with one blast of fire
-- Ke Pa is able to inflict 0.965 megatons of TNT equivalent destructive force, as well...



Z: "Master Po Ping has a knack for learning new special techniques, as evidenced by the impressive list he possesses already in the comparatively short span of time he's been a combatant."

Nineball: "So many cool moves! Someday I`ll learn them! Someday! As a main character I will do that!!"

Z: "Haha, perhaps. I wouldn't mind having them, either. Sure, his Feet of Fury is basically just a rapid-fire melee attack, his Wings of Light a somewhat generic flight ability, and his Thundering Wind Hammer a prerequisite concussive Ki Blast, buuuut..."

Johnny Zealous: "Just imagine him flying and body slamming someone."

Lucas Zaboot: "Pff, I did that to Dwayne Johnson all the time during my WWE days just to f*ck with him while he was in the locker room wearing a towel, I'd run out with his towel and he'd chase me into the stadium trying to kick my ass, Heh heh... Good times."

Z: "...I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"

Johnny Zealous: (smacks Lucas in the back of the head before proceeding) "There's the Mongolian Fireball, which creates a giant fireball that sucks everything in like a black hole, incinerating them in the process."

Lucas Zaboot: "Sounds like the bathrooms at an all-you-can-eat buffet at Taco Bell."

Nineball: "So, what's this about 'The Beast?'"

Z: "This move is copied off of Master Fenghuang, someone even more skilled and powerful than Shifu. Of course the drawback of summoning a giant miniature pseudo-sun is that its slow. But it is a miniature sun. What's not to love?"

Johnny Zealous: "I don't think he even needs much energy to use it either."

Nineball: "Oh, but don't forget his Inner Peace technique! From acquiring inner peace and moving raindrops, he turn this ability into something that could reflect multiple cannon balls! Talk about adapting the skills you possess"

Z: "And of course, there's..."

Lucas Zaboot: "The Wuxi Finger Hold?"

Nineball: "The Wuxi Finger Hold!"

Z: "The Wuxi Finger Hold."

Po: "Oh, so you know this hold?"

Z: "THIS move. It's a bit tricky to pull off, but... if you do? Say good bye to any enemy with life force."

Johnny Zealous: "It disrupts the opponent's chi flow, resulting in their instant and untimely demise regardless of their physical toughness and durability."

Z: "Quite violently, I might add. When he used it on Tai Lung?"

  

Lucas Zaboot: "Yep, definitely ate the Wendy's Chili..."

Z: "Snow kitty's life force could be felt across the entirety of the nearby countryside. Oh, and this is a move he literally invented on the spot."

Nineball: "So beautiful! So powerful! Po! Please be my teach-waaaait a minute... Then why is not listed last...?"

Johnny Zealous: "Because, apparently, "Enter the Dragon" happened."

Nineball: "Oh yeah. David said something about tha-woah!"


  


Z: "Introducing, the Hero's Chi, a force originally bestowed upon Oogway by the universe for safekeeping. Since his passing, it has passed on to Po, who can utilize it to fire blasts of radiant chi from his body, destroying demons upon hit. He proceeded to use it to seal away all of the demons unleashed upon the world at once in no time flat. A focused shot of this ki was sufficient to one-shot Ke Pa, who for reference is basically a really, really big dragon. Check below, if you'd like to see for yourself."






Lucas Zaboot: "IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR THAT TO BE ANY F*CKING CHEESIER?!?! I CAN FEEL MYSELF SH*TTING RAINBOWS FROM THAT BULLSH*T!!"

Nineball: "Stop it, Dreamworks!! The panda-tigress ship tease is too strong!!!"

Lucas Zaboot: "Side note, Jesus that animation looks like sh*t."

Z: "Say what you will, 'Skadoosh!' and a light show is enough to overcome a giant fire-breathing monster with power measured as being nearly the equivalent of a 1-megaton nuclear bomb."

Johnny Zealous: "Which is impressive and all but..."

Weaknesses

  

- Somewhat naive and childish
-- Tends to taunt and tease opponents a bit, although this habit has lessened in recent times
- Can at times be distracted by food
- Stairs